I Always Wonder if Nature Knows that the Body Needs to Gear Up for the Impossible, so It Forces You to Rest at No Cost When You Can

I felt the migraine coming on Thursday night. I did what I know how to do...darkened a room, got wet cloths for my neck, and prayed I'd fall asleep before it hit. I accomplished my goal and when my alarms went off yesterday morning, I didn't want to get up. I did, though, walked the dog, and then proceeded to go on a sprint of work, until I wanted to see what Lowe's porch furniture clearance looked like. I need to replace all the chairs as they are spent. They had nothing, so I came home to work some more. By 4:30 p.m. I realized I wanted a blanket and I was out...for two hours. I just slept until Karal's barking woke me up because she wanted dinner. 

Of course, I convinced myself I have mono or Lyme disease, because I rarely get tired and take breaks. I had two doctor's appointments, however, confirming all is well. I think it is psychosomatic, because I know I don't want to get back into the grind, so I'm looking for reason not to work at all. Naps seem to take care of this..

People are reaching out to go out, too, but I hate all the hubbub, crowds, noise, and people. Yuck. I'd rather sit at home reading and writing. Then I feel guilty that I'm not more sociable and feel I should make the rounds. 

I told a friend yesterday that I'm growing into a curmudgeon, which is far from what I want to be. It's simply coming with the material, though, and I can't shake the inner cynic out of my system. I feel great when I'm hiking or in the flow of the work, but when I give myself a second to think about it, I hate it.

And I'm thinking of Cynde and Mike's patio...that is labor that offers a result. It's hard. Time consuming. Frustrating. Etc. But when it's done, you have an accomplishment. 

I'm ready for retirement. That'll be the retirement that is overdue. Yes, I know I have a good decade more, but I've been in it for a while and I'm tired.