Obviously I Am Thinking Of the Carolis, Cherry Heights, Bamm Hollow, Childhood, My Parents, and My Childhood Friend, Peter

Central New York's sexiest Uber driver…I’m Heading to Denver and Mr. Caroli came to the rescue (like he used to when I needed a ride to little league practice). Appreciate this man so much....a 2nd father…it took many, many hands to raise the kids of Cherry Heights. ~ May, 2022 

My mother called me last week and shared the news that Pete Caroli had a heart attack and passed. Like her, I was shocked, simply because it was unexpected. I think I've prepared myself to hear many variations of possible stories that can come from her calls, but I wasn't expecting this. I texted Peter Boy, then began making arrangements so I could be in Syracuse for services today and the funeral tomorrow. I always celebrate my visits back to Syracuse and Cherry Height, and they always include walks by the Carolis home, hopes they're outside, or visits when they're walking by my parents. There are so many decades spent together on these neighborhood streets.

I can't pass Duncowing without imagining football and baseball games with Peter, Jim, Bobbie, and Mike. The wiffle ball tournaments on the side of the house were also amazing, and the gang of us used to ride our ten-speeds all over the place for pick-up games in other fields, mall visits, & A&W Two-for Tuesday (we took our bikes where we weren't allowed to be). 

It was three years ago when I had a retreat in Denver, Colorado, and I needed a dog-sitter, so drove to Syracuse to get my flight from there. The problem was, we took my father's car keys away years ago and mom stopped driving, so there weren't wheels at their home. Cynde was tied up that day, so mom reached out and Pete saved the day. Super Dad. Super Neighbor. Another precious being from our neighborhood.

All of my childhood memories resonate from Amalfi Drive, Duncowing, and  Bamm Hollow. Somebody's parents were always taking us somewhere from those three locations: games, parks, arenas, food. Big Pete only requested one thing - a good back massage while he was watching t.v..  I think it is even more amazing that my father, Butch, and Pete shared 60+ years of friendship, beginning with Mohawk and Allegheny Airlines in Utica, New York, then transitioning to Syracuse where it would eventually be USAIR. There were afternoons at the Clam Bar, a retirement party there, and kitchen-table conversations (in fact, my memories of their frustration with upper management where they worked - ha, we all know that now, because we're the adults). I forget how much our worlds intertwined, sharing the Utica/Syracuse connection. I ran around with Peter Boy, so never made the mature connection that our parents had a history, too. I know. I know. Mom & Stephanie, Pete's mom, shared their fantasy life in Salem with Alice and Marlena, but I didn't connect the Butch and Pete connection, too. Their stories.

Except Friday breakfast at a diner in North Syracuse. It was a tradition, and even as my father has grown into a habit of a later wake-time, on breakfast days he was up to meet Pete. All the years I lived in Louisville, I knew while in Syracuse, I'd go with Dad to see Pete. Of course, I also saw Pete in the neighborhood (they were just down the street).

And the first thing I thought of as mom shared the news was Pete's childhood teasing, where he always told Cynde, Casey, and I that dad hid all his money in milk cans he buried in the backyard. I still think about this, years later, curios if my dad did bury all his money in cans out back. We always wondered where it went. 

Years go by, foundations are set, Peter Boy, Elaine, Casey, and I all ended up in schools one way or another, a teacher like Stephanie (a St. Rose of Lima shining star). Stephanie posted a picture of a younger Pete coaching a girl's basketball team at St. Rose and I began to see the comments from classmates I graduated with who played for him. That was Pete. A coach. I was amazed how long Peter continued to play softball way after retirement. At times, Dad and I would go to see him play. 

My mother saw this picture, too, and wrote,

What a beautiful memory captured in this picture……..one of so many! In processing this sad news I have realized that the Crandall family could write a book about our lives with the Caroli family. Butch worked side by side with Peter through all 40 years with Mohawk, Allegheny and USAirways from the Oneida County Airport to commuting to Syracuse, then settling in Cherry Heights in Clay, retiring, then meeting for breakfast once a week to keep up on current events. We have shared graduation parties, weddings, showers, and many Airline parties that always started out with cocktails at the Caroli residence. Our kids grew up together. Whenever I heard a really good joke, I would pass it on to Pete as he had a way about him that made him known as a storyteller. Pete was a wonderful friend and will truly be missed! Our thoughts and prayers are with you. May your wonderful memories sustain and comfort you! 

I also have a memory from when Mr. Caroli had hernia surgery. Peter Boy and I had to help him around the house and I remember his feisty remarks when we had to help him to the bathroom. I don't remember how young I was, just that I couldn't imagine having any kind of groin surgery, let alone imagine the pain that would cause. Well, I channeled Pete both times I've had hernia surgery in my 40s (with a surgeon warning me I'll like have several more because I have the groin of a 98 year-old man, she says). I remember also thinking, "Phew. that was fast. How am I now the age Pete and Butch were when we were just kids?"

Last night, Syracuse played Louisville, and I thought about the time Peter Boy and I went to Louisville to see a game. We both had free flights because of our fathers working for the airlines, but this meant we often didn't get to accomplish trips we set out to do because we flew stand-by. For that trip, we were successful (and I think this was our feathered-hair phase before entering high school).

I am back in Syracuse to pay my respects. I knew Cynde would need help getting them there, and I knew being there for the Carolis is what I needed to do. No brainer. As I said last night to my parents, "We're all family. And family is there for one another when it counts."

Here's to a great man...a 2nd father...and an on-demand Uber driver when one is needed. My heart goes out to the family, especially Stephanie. I'm hoping the gift of memories finds their hearts sooner than later.

This time it was one of the good ones. Phew.